Chapter Three

He moved through the halls trying not to meet other Agents eyes. He felt like the world was quickly rising up against him. He only hoped he could keep up. Something didn’t feel right, no. Everything didn’t feel right. He didn’t pride himself on being some master detective but this whole situation felt fishy. Why would Hooter single him out? How would Bulba find out so fast? How could he arrange to have a letter quietly deposited on his desk so no one seemed to know how it got there? Honker rounded the corner and found the lab, thankfully, quiet. He moved through the machines anxiously hoping to find a head of black hair, beginning to be flecked with grey, bobbing along merrily. He searched around the high machines, nothing. Was she out?

“E…Excuse me? Dr. Bellum?” he shouted to the room. He felt his stomach start to bubble with nausea, and his hands start to shake. He knew he was shook up about the letter, but wasn’t this reaction a bit extreme? There was a shuffling and a bit of humming before she popped up among one of the larger contraptions.

“Why pardon me! I didn’t hear you come in!” She beamed happily. “What seems to be the problem? Atomic fall out? Unexplained super powers?”

He blinked at her enthusiasm.

“What? No…” He shook his head, he was feeling off but… not THAT off. “I wanted to see if you could maybe run some tests on this to see where it came from?” He held out the envelope.

“Oh I’m terribly sorry young man… you just looked so ill! I was hoping for something a bit unnatural!” she said in her kind, disconnected fashion as she put on plastic gloves and took the bit of paper from him. “I can run some tests but I’m not sure if I can find out much… it looks to have been rather heavily handled,” she said thoughtfully as she turned it over and over.

“Yes, the envelope has been, but the paper inside has just been handled by me.” He cursed his fellow office workers for yet again hindering his progress. Maybe that was part of a plan too? His throat felt terribly tight, almost as if it were swelling up. He shook his head as Dr. Bellum walked away.

“I’m rather busy at the moment with tasks from the Director but I will get to it as soon as I can. What’s your extension, Agent?” she asked as she took out the contact paperwork. No matter where you went in the organization, there was always paperwork.

“Three seven nine nine,” he answered quickly through his constricting illness. He was starting to feel a tad dizzy too. It was a shocking morning, but this?

“Okay. I’ll get back to you in a bit!” Her cheerfulness sagged slightly. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Fine,” he said shortly and turned to leave. He’d have to wait to find out anything, typical. He knew personally that tests never were performed as quickly as the movies implied. He just wanted to know what the hell was going on. As he stepped out of the room he stumbled on nothing, his head swirling a bit. It hit him too late. All this time he had just imagined he was overreacting. He leaned against the wall fighting to breathe. Something was wrong with him. His knees gave out and he felt his consciousness fade. Before he lost the one sided battle, he heard fast footsteps, high heels.

He woke up in pain, and gagged sickly.

“Whoa! Calm down… just relax,” said a dark soothing voice above him. “They had to put a tube down your throat to stop it from closing. You’re lucky I found you.”

He shivered in a cold sweat. He couldn’t see, someone must have taken off his glasses. He wanted to talk, wanted to know what had happened. He felt someone wipe his forehead, the black blob that hung over him spoke again.

“You were poisoned,” said the sultry womanly voice.

Poisoned? He panicked to himself. But how? With what? He started shaking all over against his will. Everything hurt, a soft hand took his tightly.

“They’re working out an antidote now… it’s some form of cyanide we’ve never seen before… you’re really lucky I found you. It will be okay,” she said soothingly. He wanted to ask her who she was, why she kept insisting he was lucky. He’d been poisoned, how was that lucky?! Instead, he tried to fight away his convulsive shaking, and closed his eyes. “I’m Agent Shields; you can call me Eva though. Well, when you have a chance to speak, I mean. They said you were Agent Muddlefoot? I’ve never heard of you… you must have just gotten out of the academy… tough break, kiddo.” She seemed to be talking to hear herself talk. He didn’t mind it too much, it gave him something to focus on. He held her hand captive still, the tremors running through him painfully. She sat beside him on the bed. “I’ve been poisoned before, it’s not fun. But this stuff is especially nasty… it made you soil yourself.”

He opened his eyes horrified. She was a little clearer, she was all black but he could see blue eyes. She laughed.

“Sorry, that was a mean joke. Just try to stay calm, Agent Muddlefoot, the poison was found on your fingers and it was absorbed quickly. Faster than anything they’ve seen before. You’re its first victim. Just think, you’ll save other people because of this. Once they figure out the antidote, that is. Gosh, I’m not very good at this am I?” He shook his head since it was all he could do. She let out a little chuckle… more like a giggle really. “Sorry. Well it was on that letter you got, the poison I mean. Dr Bellum found it right away when we asked her. Someone wants you dead Agent Muddlefoot… exciting isn’t it?”

The letter, it was poisoned. Bulba wanted him dead. It was far from exciting. He closed his eyes painfully. He wished he could pass out again so he wouldn’t have to feel anything. It ached, burned, froze, and stung all at once. It was terrifying. This was exactly the kind of thing a field agent had to put up with, which was another reason why he hadn’t been so put out when he hadn’t made the cut. Through his violent shaking, his pain, he felt her wipe his forehead again. She’d been speaking the entire time, he just couldn’t pay attention. She sure had a lot to talk about. He felt her lean over him to grab something on the table beside the bed, the faint scent of perfume cutting through his misery. It was sweet and flowery. A bit like lilacs. He let his eyes open and she looked at him before she moved. She was beautiful. Her plumage was the darkest black and looked softer than cashmere. Her bright blue eyes were accented by the equally blue eye make up and dark curly lashes that rimmed them. Her beak was small and bird like, not a bill like Gosalyn’s. He immediately closed his eyes. What was he doing? Gosalyn would kill him if she ever found out he had looked at another girl. Eva giggled again. He wished he didn’t have a piece of plastic shoved down his throat so he could explain himself.

“Hmm... let’s see. Herbert 'Honker' Muddlefoot,” she said plainly. He opened an eye a crack and saw her thumbing through a file. “Clerical Agent, huh? This is the first I’ve heard of a paper pusher getting poisoned.” He couldn’t see it but he was sure she smiled. “Wow. You got near perfect marks all through the Academy... what are you a genius or something? Maybe one of your envious co-workers couldn’t stand you being fantastic any longer and took matters into their own hands?”

Honker felt his face turn red. Did she have to talk so much? Did she have to tease him?

“Let’s see now... nineteen? Wowie. You really are a kid! Don’t worry Honker, I always liked younger men,” she said sweetly. He really wished he could talk now. He could see it. Gosalyn busting down the door and not only hitting Eva with her Lacrosse stick but beating him into a coma. She, apparently didn’t sense his discomfort. “I didn’t get a good look at you when you were breathing on your own but you look adorable now, kiddo. You’re a sweet guy, too, I can just tell. I’m a great judge of character, ya know? That’s what’s kept me alive for so long, and alone too I guess. I can pick out the guy who’s lying from across a room. It’s a gift and a curse really. Sometimes lies are important,” she said distractedly.

A pair of hurried voices were approaching and he felt her lean over him again. Putting the file back he supposed, but she stopped.

“Honker?” she whispered.

Reluctantly, he opened his eyes. There she was, right there hovering over him, her short black hair was shiny and professional looking. She was glamorous really.

“I know what that note said. Taurus Bulba plays for keeps, kiddo.” She removed herself from her awkward position and stood up as two doctors came in the room.

“Agent Shields, how is he?” one said.

“Shaky, sweaty, and confused. Did you work something out?”

“We think so, it turns out the substance that we couldn’t identify was actually wasp venom.”

“Wasp venom?” she repeated as the doctors came over to him. “Who would mix cyanide and wasp venom?”

“Someone who knows how allergic their target is to it,” responded the doctor as he pulled out a large needle. Honker felt faint. He was never good with needles. “That would explain the swollen throat.” The doctor injected the needle into the intravenous bag that hung beside him. He relaxed, he hadn’t even noticed it was there. He felt the cold liquid drain into his veins slowly and a light headedness swam over him. The doctor shone a light in his eyes. “My, my, he’s actually not too bad. Looks like you came along just in time, Agent Shields.”

“Yeah, I’ve been telling him he’s one lucky kid.” She was smiling again, he could tell just by how she spoke. “Good thing for us he can handle his poison.”

I can? he mused. If this was handling poison he’d hate to know what it would feel like if he couldn’t. Well, it probably would only hurt for a few minutes and then feel like nothing at all... ever again. The untamable shakiness died down as his antidote flowed throughout him. He was exhausted, the medicine was probably chock full of antihistamines, those always knocked him out flat.

“He’s gonna be okay right docs?” Eva asked.

“Oh yes. We’ll keep him here for a bit, but he’ll probably be fine.”

PROBABLY? He shouted in his head.

“Probably?” Eva gasped.

Honker squinted at her, she stayed fuzzy. Was she reading his mind or something?

“Well it was a new poison. We think we’ve got it under control but there is always a small possibility...”

“Don’t listen to these guys, Muddlefoot. You’ll be right as rain, and then I’ll be sure to check in on you to make sure you’re not being too envied,” she said kindly. “But I’ll be needing my hand back for the moment...”

It took a minute for her words to sink in through the medication. Mortified, he released her. He hadn’t meant to hold on so long... how long had he been holding her hand? She laughed her giggle like chuckle again.

“Okay, take care of him now, boys. If he doesn’t make it I’ll hold you accountable.” Her voice smiled and he heard her high heels clack out of the room.

“She’s something else that one...” one doctor commented dreamily.

“You said it. You’re a lucky guy, Muddlefoot, to have the prettiest agent on the payroll also be the sweetest. She refused to leave you alone, maybe she’s got a crush on ya.” he chortled. Honker wanted more than ever to correct them. Tell them he had a girlfriend that he deeply, truly cared about. Alas, those words went unsaid due to the device that was keeping him alive. The strength to stay away was being stripped from him quickly. He hoped Gosalyn wouldn’t be upset with him. He really didn’t mean to be so “lucky”. His eyes slid out of focus as he fell into sleep.